How to Make People Like You (HTWFAIP - Part 2)

written in htwfaip, soft skills

Second post of the series on the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. I know, How to make people like you sounds soooo lame, but stick with me, this is a good chapter.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

2. Smile!

Like a dog, show that you are happy to see people. Smile even when talking on the phone. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. ‘A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.’

3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language

Napoleon’s advice on remembering names: If he didn’t get the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?” During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.

4. Be a good listener

Encourage others to talk about themselves: “She didn’t want to hear me talk about my travels. All she wanted was an interested listener, so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been.” Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. A friend often doesn’t want advice, but just a friendly, sympathetic listener. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people, think of that the next time you start a conversation.

5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests

Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.

6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely

Little phrases such as ‘I’m sorry to trouble you,’ ‘Would you be so kind as to – ?’ ‘Won’t you please?’ ‘Would you mind?’ ‘Thank you’ – little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life – and incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding. The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realise in some subtle way that you realise their importance, and recognise it sincerely. ‘Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.’